BAD days..

I spent the better part of the last 2 days hiding from my family, friends anything social. So basically the world in general. I stayed in bed and it forced my hubby to have to jump in and take over everything that I normally do. I feel badly about that now, but I needed to allow myself a bit of time to let the news absorb. I am still not dealing well with it and I am now taking more ativan than I have ever needed in the past. I just feel my ability to be positive and cope well is slipping away. I know it will come back, I just don’t know how to get it back…

Why Me? Why is my family having to deal with this, and why do I always get bad news. I don’t feel I deserve this nor does my family. How did I get it and what did I do that could have been a cause/trigger? Why can’t it just be over already one way or another. I am tired of the fight.

But at least I am out of bed now, I guess that’s a good thing.


One comment on “BAD days..

  1. l'optimiste says:

    "Why can't it just be over already one way or another. I am tired of the fight.",Oi!! Because – you have to keep battling on, and eventually you will get there. And you know I've had cancer, chemo, blah blah, so I am not just saying that. We all have those days where it all seems just TOO bloody exhausting. But we all also have those days where you are just laughing to be alive.Sometimes staying in bed and wallowing is a good thing, but if it makes you feel like giving up, then it's a bad thing. So don't do that – better to drag yourself out and see what you're missing ;o)

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